Comments on Jump off the Bridge: Hair & Race in D.R.

I don't know what the big deal is about hair. ...

2009-12-08T02:09:58.848-05:00

I don't know what the big deal is about hair. If a woman doesn't want anyone to ruin their hair, they better do it themselves. At least they know what is good and what is bad for their own hair, they don't have to be afraid of it being ruined.

Sally--when you are inside any system, you learn t...

2009-11-20T11:59:52.966-05:00

Sally--when you are inside any system, you learn the nuances, the non-verbals, you learn to speak in code, you hear the subtext louder than the spoken words...I think this applies to ANY system...and the longer you stay inside one system, the more you think it's just the way it is inside of that system. But not in my experience. It's how it is inside of any closed system. And by closed, I mean, that there are overt as well as very subtle cues, CUES, I'm saying (as you are pointing out), that signal who is an insider and who is an outsider. And so conformity to the insider behavior happens without ever being named or discussed, and the people who bump into the insider behavior and want to know what it is or why it is, are very genially asked to leave...

Thanks y'all. It really isn't as cut and d...

2009-11-20T11:38:36.476-05:00

Thanks y'all. It really isn't as cut and dry as people make it out to be, and it's just so frustrating when people don't realize how delicate it all is. I'm certain that if I wasn't a Dominican immigrant, if all of my cousins didn't live in D.R. for so long, etc., I wouldn't really understand the complexity either. I'm trying to lay it out as best as I can, you know? Hopefully it helps...

I have a sort of Brother in Law from DR (he is mar...

2009-11-19T10:13:19.431-05:00

I have a sort of Brother in Law from DR (he is married to my cousin who was raised like a sister to me), and I am just starting to feel my way around the race dynamics involved there. If I wasn't already awkward w/ some areas of race because of being bi-racial, I am having a harder time with it now, because I am going to run into something I am unfamiliar with addressing (does that make any sense?). This gives me a little more insight...(nothing to build a theory on mind you) because I have a lot of privilege to check in a lot of circles still, even as a WoC. It just tells me that what I know about navigating conversations on race isn't always going to be enough. I still have listening to do.

I hope that made sense...I am so foggy lately.

Sally! Yes! Yes! Yes! I don't know much about...

2009-11-18T18:38:56.789-05:00

Sally! Yes! Yes! Yes!

I don't know much about DR, but your analysis is right on for any and all unexamined privileges, assumptions and ways of living. Right now on Facebook I'm WRAGING WRAR on many fronts with people who are telling me because they grew up in a female head-of-household family they grew up in matriarchy! Or that they're not angry! That they have so controlled/overcome their shit that they have no use for anger and successfully "sublimiate" it.

And I could go on and on. But, what's driving me crazy is that when you ask people to examine certain assumptions, you get WALLS of "Why? I don't have that problem. You must have that problem."

It's a crazymaking scheme, alright. It's fucking hard to fight the enemy when they have outposts in your fucking haid.

Great post, gurlfriend.