It's time for a story! We'll call this one "Business or Pleasure."

I'm at a networking type of event, trying to schmooze, get business cards, that whole bit. I meet a couple of interesting people but move on to the next, as these things go. Next up is a man. He sees me and walks up to me and starts chatting. It's the usual "so what do you do, where do you work, how'd you hear about this event," nothing suspicious. Then it turns out that one area of expertise I have is something he needs for his business. Cool, right? Because who doesn't want to do something they love and get paid for it for some extra income. Awesome.

You keep talking and now it's more friendly conversation. Where are you from (which in this case meant nationality... you never really know in NY), what's there to do for fun in NY, do you go out dancing? Because I love going out dancing, you should come.

Wait, what?

So now I'm starting to wonder, is this guy just really friendly and recognizing what an awesome person I am? Or is he not at all serious about needing my expertise and just trying to hit on me?

I sort of presume the former and carry on as normal, but it's really been bugging me ever since. I don't usually assume the worst in people, but it really made me think. I mean, I'm at an event, I look nice (if I do say so myself), I've got makeup on and heels and everything... How the hell am I supposed to know if a man is actually interested in doing business with me and not just hitting on me?

This is all too confusing. It's enough to make me want to stay home instead.

(Cross-posted at Feministe.)


At Thu Dec 17, 11:41:00 AM Anonymous said...

Any reason why it couldn't be both? You're awesome. Perhaps he recognized both the talented businesswoman and the rad fun person. I've met lots of friends through my profession, so I never assume the 2 cannot overlap. Of course, you were actually there - so, if he made you feel less than valued professionally, or if he was straight up hitting on you, big fail on his part. Here's hoping you get that extra money for doing something you love :)

At Sat Dec 19, 12:44:00 PM frau sally benz said...

I suppose it could very well be. Just wish it was easier to tell. =/


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