Ugh. One of the things I hate more than anything is when people say "no homo."

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you can ignore this post. But if you do and you don't understand it, or you use it, or a lot of people around you use it, you may continue.

I hate, hate, HATE when people say "no homo." Almost as much as I hated the "ayo" and "pause" thing, I find that the "no homo" thing is not only the opposite of funny (somebody once told me it's just a joke... I'm so not laughing) but also reeks of insecurity and homophobia. Plus, it's annoying as crap to try having a conversation with somebody who says it after every other sentence. First, you're bringing more attention to the words you're saying than necessary. Second, how stupid is it that you're basically ending your sentences with "I'm not gay, I swear." And, frankly, I don't care if you ARE gay! It is actually not possible for me to care less. Really.

So check out this video by Jay Smooth: A Beginner's Guide to "No Homo."

My absolute favorite part of this is when he says: "as a general rule, if you're not the original target of an insult, you can't be the one to reclaim it." It applies to so many other things, I'm going to use it as my rule of thumb.

But on the video itself, I found it quite informative. I had no idea where this thing came from, although knowing doesn't make me like it any more. It's just so unnecessary. People, please STOP using it! At least around me.


At Mon Aug 18, 05:26:00 AM Eloriane said...

This is a great video, I'm glad you brought it to my attention. Especially the fantastic line "as a general rule, if you're not the original target of an insult, you can't be the one to reclaim it."

I wish I'd had that sentence to hand a few weeks ago, when I was trying to tell a friend that she couldn't use "gay" to mean "stupid" and NOT be insulting to gay folks. She was all "but nowadays 'gay' has a new meaning totally unconnected from any implications of homosexuality, and this new meaning just happens to mean 'stupid' instead of 'happy' and you're just overreacting and anyway you talk about stuff being gay all the time!"

I got her to agree not to say it in my presence, out of respect for my wishes, but next time I'm totally going to point out that as the gay person in the room, I get to decide when and how much the word has been reclaimed. Which means that yes, I am allowed to talk about how my sandals are gay (Birkenstocks!) but she is not allowed to talk about how a rubbish TV show is gay.

Which is a roundabout way of saying: I'm always glad when I see a video from Jay Smooth; he always has good stuff to say. Thanks for bringing him to my attention :)

At Mon Aug 18, 10:13:00 AM frau sally benz said...

I'm glad you enjoyed it! I love Jay Smooth, he's awesome.

I'm glad you were at least able to get your friend to stop saying those things in front of you. One of the problems is that some people are not offended by these things while others are. Then you hear the "well, I know a *insert label here* and they don't have a problem when I say that" to which I usually say "well I do, so what's your point?" Just because other people are okay with it doesn't mean everybody will be and to think anything different is just lazy.

At Mon Aug 18, 02:37:00 PM elle said...

I saw your comment on shakesville about your blogcrush on jay smooth... glad to know I'm not the only one.

At Mon Aug 18, 03:01:00 PM Habladora said...

The line you point out about who can or can't reclaim an insult is spot-on.

At Mon Aug 18, 06:57:00 PM Renee said...

I am totoally crushing on Jay Smooth. I love the part where he says that if an insult is not thrown at you that you cannot reclaim it. I hope that all the white people who whine about not being able to say nigger heard that message loud and clear.

At Mon Aug 18, 07:04:00 PM spiffykt said...

Oh, hey, that's really cool! I'd never heard of this guy before, but that was a great video... I may have to look for more of his things!

At Mon Aug 18, 10:37:00 PM Danny said...

Over time I have come up with a way to help with that general rule. If someone is slinging around a word as if its okay because it has "new meaning" do this...

If you say something and they go on about how its okay for them to say it (like the friend eloraine mentions in the first comment) just think of something that really offends them and use it jokingly a few times around them. There is a good chance their tune will change.

Often times (and I've used this on myself a few times) if a person can just see a situation flipped on to themselves it can open their eyes.

At Wed Aug 20, 12:14:00 PM frau sally benz said...

Danny, that's a great idea! Hopefully my brain can be quick enough to think of things on the spot that would bug those people.

My other problem, of course, is that those are often the very people that are obnoxious and say things like "well, you can say whatever you want, I don't care."


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